


vices without the virtues

by thewriteroflostcauses



Category: Original Work
Genre: A sad excuse of romance, Angst, F/M, Mentions of Substance Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-16
Updated: 2012-10-16
Packaged: 2017-11-16 09:59:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/538253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thewriteroflostcauses/pseuds/thewriteroflostcauses
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>But the problem is that they <em>do</em> love each other. It all comes down to the fact that they're so caught up in their messes that they're all each other has. Gab hates loving him and Kade hates love, and they're both just so stupid.</p>
            </blockquote>





	vices without the virtues

It isn't fair that she can remember their first kiss but Kade can't. Eighth grade, under the bleachers of the gym, messy and sloppy and so inexperienced that it could have killed, like most first kisses are. A whole thirty seconds, because that's what Nadia said they had to do. Thirty seconds of sloppy and shitty makeouts or she was going to spread a nasty rumor that Gab had been sleeping with Elias, even though they all knew that _that_ was _Nadia's_ wet dream.

Gab can't understand why Kade wouldn't remember something like that, because it was his first kiss, but he swears up and down that the first time they kissed was in the ninth grade at Elias' motherfucking pool party (which had actually just turned out to be nothing but Nadia and Elias smoking a blunt and watching Desperate Housewives while Kade and Gab stole Peach Schnapps out of the fridge).

She doesn't know why it hurts so bad that he supposedly doesn't remember, but it does. It's the kind of pain that's worse than mommy and daddy coming into her room when she's twelve and telling her that she can't have both of them anymore and that she has to choose between them, because _sweetie, sometimes love doesn't conquer everything, and that's just how life works._ It leaves her feeling nasty and disgusted with her best friend, because fuck you Kade, you should remember.

(And he does. But he can't tell Gab that, because it'll end up killing them both in the end if she knows.)

\--

"Nadia is running for class president." Gab states boredly as she slides into the hard, plastic booth that she and Kade share every day at lunch. Not that she eats, because school food tasted like shit that's been flushed down the toilet at least five times, but always manages to resurface again. It was like The Little Turd That Could.

Kade quirks an eyebrow. "Really? And she wants to do something like that because...?"

"Because she thinks that some sense of superiority will get her laid more often." Gab says it like it's the most obvious thing in the world as she lifts a hand to flick her hair over her shoulder. Kade may or may not think it's a little bit cute, but he's too busy shoving PB&J into his face to even really say anything.

"Elias is going to be pissed about that one."

"He's running for vice president with her."

Kade stops midchew to stare at her, because, really? He's fully aware that Nadia and Elias are fucking behind everyone's backs, but has he seriously sunken to Queen Bitch's Bitch level already? "Why?" He asks, even though he's not sure he wants to hear Gab say what she has to say.

"Because he thinks that some sense of superiority will get Nadia to bend over his kitchen counter more often." Kade snorts and drops his sandwich, opening his mouth just as Gab says, "You should come over this weekend."

His eyes are focused on his lunch tray and, fuck, he doesn't speak for a good twenty seconds, and apparently that's all the time Gab needs to make those assumptions that girls are so damn great at making. "Actually, never mind." And she stands before Kade can open his mouth to respond, speaks before he has time to react. "I've got a hot date with some LSD and my drug dealer, now that I think about it."

She's gone by the time he looks up.

Sometimes, Kade really fucking hates the world. Because Gab _is_ the world. She's the perfect embodiment of everything beautiful, and she's gloriously fucked up in all the right ~~wrong~~ ways. Gab is his best friend and the girl that he dreams about at night, and she's been screwing up his life since they were kids.

Gab is the world, and that's why he can't have her.

\--

Kade loves her. He does. He loves here even when he's fucking some girl in the back room of Nadia's summer vacation home, loves her even when he's blowing Elias in the school bathroom on the second floor, next to the chemistry lab. Fuck, if Gab had a penis, he'd blow hers too.

And Gab loves Kade. In fact, she knows that if the day came where she had to choose between her shoot up fix and Kade, she wouldn't even have to think about it. Kade is all that she'd need.

But the problem is that they _do_ love each other. It all comes down to the fact that they're so caught up in their messes that they're all each other has. Gab hates loving him and Kade hates love, and they're both just so stupid.

\--

Nadia isn't the idiot that everyone plays her up to be. She's not just the dumb, conceited bitch that she has the reputation for being. She definitely is those things -- and she wears the fact with some serious pride, fuck you very much -- but she's also got a good head on her shoulders. Elias may be the only one that notices that small, but important detail.

"They love each other, you know." Nadia says. Her pencil is tapping against her cheek and her Spanish homework is laying forgotten in front of her, and Elias is sitting on the couch staring at her blankly.

"Are you going to talk vaguely all fucking day or are you going to tell me who you're talking about?" Elias wonders all the time whether or not the vague thing is something all girls do, or if it's just Nadia. Probably just Nadia, being the weird little bitch she is.

Nadia fixes him with a glare and she drops her pencil, crossing her arms on the coffee table and giving him that 'I'm silently judging you because there is literally no way you are that stupid' look that she has perfected. "Kaddy and Gabby. They're like, so in love with each other that it hurts to watch them beat around the bush. But, you know, Kade is scared of committment," And Elias smirks, because he knows that Kade can be pretty committed when doing _certain_ things, "and Gab just really has a problem with loving. Her parents fucked her up bad. I'd feel for her--"

"You mean you have a heart?"

"Shut the fuck up, or I will seriously shove my fingers through the scrotum of your penis. _As_ I was saying, I'd feel for her, but it's kind of her fault that she won't just shut up and deal with it. Mommy and daddy's issues aren't _her_ issues. If she wants to love him, then she should."

Elias looks at her, blinks, and has this moment where he thinks that Nadia is probably the smartest, most attractive girl that he knows. It's weird.

"Can we fuck?"

And then his moment is over, because Nadia shrugs, nods, and the rest of that is a story for another time.

\--

The bite of the needle is something that Gab has really relied on for most of her life, and it's killing her, she knows, but...

 _That's just how life works_.

\--

His lips taste like mint and beer, and his face smells like aftershave, and his hair is soft when she cards her fingers through it, and if this is what love tastes like and feels like and _is_ , then maybe shit wouldn't be so bad. But Gab knows that isn't how things go, and Kade may seem like perfection, but he's her biggest down fall.

And, yeah, she loves him for it.

The kiss is sloppy and messy and _like most first kisses are_ even though it isn't their first kiss, and she's praying that it won't be their last, but Kade is that one dream that she just. Cannot. Get. Her. Hands on. He's like sand and Stardust, slipping through the cracks of her fingers and leaving her wanting, needing, desiring, hoping for--

for...

\--

And Gab wonders if maybe he'll remember this one.


End file.
